Work/Life balance is a myth. I know, you don’t want to hear that, but it’s the truth. The myth of work/life balance is based on the lie/premise that you can control either. And the truth is that you can’t. The real secret is:
**turns head to see who’s watching**
Healthy boundaries are vital to living a complete, fulfilling life. What does that look like? Well, I’m no expert, but I spent a lot of time studying to find that exact answer. For me, practicing healthy boundaries looks like flexibility, self-advocacy, knowing when to say no, asking for help when needed, not feeling guilty for making certain things a priority in your life….and I could go on forever. But the root of healthy boundaries, for me anyway, can be summed up in one compound word: self-awareness.
Do you know your triggers? your limits? your strengths? your areas of growth? your likes/dislikes? Do you know the why behind your likes & dislikes? Do you understand why you continue to react to certain situations in the same way? All of this, and more, constitutes self-awareness. And the path towards self-awareness looks different for everybody. One day, I’ll share my full journey with you, but for now I’ll just share the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
- The more self-awareness you have, the better leader you are. How can you ask people to follow you if you don’t even know who they are following?
- You cannot change what you are not willing to acknowledge. None of us are perfect, and we will never be. We all have areas where we can grow & improve. But that growth cannot happen if you/we refuse to acknowledge that it is needed.
- Everything is a decision, including doing nothing at all. And every decision has a consequence, whether positive or negative. That is true for all parts of life, including personal growth.
- Understanding how certain situations can act as a trigger for me allows me to be able to respond and not react. That is where my “super power” lies in how I handle situations in all aspects of life. Ask yourself “why does ______ usually cause me to ______?” Explore that question and sit with the answer. Talk it through with your therapist or a trusted friend. Do the work to become a better you. You’ll eventually arrive at, “_____ used to cause me to ______, but know I choose to ________ instead.”
- Self-awareness is a continual process. You never arrive at a point where you are so self-aware that you no longer need to do the work. You are always changing, growing and evolving into a new person (or at least you should be). Therefore, you must continue to work the process.
I encourage each of you to focus the next phase of your leadership journey on learning & understanding yourself. I guarantee you it will be the best investment that you will ever make!!
Until next time….