The last time we talked, I was taking the first step of a new journey. At this point, the mileage I’ve logged indicates that I am way past time for sharing reflections. I can admit, in this new role at work, I’ve struggled with how publicly I wanted my thoughts and opinions to be. In this season, all it takes is one person to misread, misunderstand, or take offense to what you say, and the resulting firestorm has the potential to engulf your entire career. I told myself that by keeping quiet I was doing the right thing. I told myself that private reflection was more important than continuing to use my voice. I told myself that my voice was an important part of the conversation because my role in our field had shifted.
The truth, though, is that I was lying to myself. My voice is important. My reflections matter. The lies I told myself were just a mask for the fear that I’ve been carrying for the past year: fear of the unknown, fear of judgment for saying yes to a position that angered so many from inception, and fear of the response from the community when my thoughts didn’t align perfectly with their ideas. I’m tired of carrying this fear; it’s getting to be rather heavy. So I’ve decided to shed it one post at a time.
Writing for me has always been therapeutic. It’s how I learn and grow, and an integral part of how I lead. I’m not promising anyone a series or anything earth shattering. What I am doing is making a promise to myself. A promise that I will no longer let the fear of the unknown prevent me from walking in my gift, from using my words to reflect the light. I’ve been silent for over a year, and I have so many things that I want to say.
The Ed Tech Queen 